Ask - Croatian Vacation

Ask. Receive. Ask. Receive.

I don’t know all the theology behind it. But it is what I experienced. Ask. Receive.

It’s a new day. Let’s do this day with God. Let’s invite him into every moment and offer it all up as worship. And see what he has in store for us.

Early morning rising with the sunshine as we watch it peak it’s head around the mountain. A little wave from the sun rays beaming down.

We walk to the hotel and wait for the car rental to open. I’m not upset that our waiting area looks out onto the crystal ocean.

Let’s drive to another country today. Lord keep us safe.

Rental car or group guided trip was the decision. The experience is the car ride. And the freedom it allowed.

Buckled up. I’m driving a car in Croatia. If I say it enough times I will actually believe it. I’m driving a car in Croatia. Brake right, gas left? No, I can do this. Cliff right, mountains left. Winding back and fourth back and fourth. Keep eyes on the road I tell myself. I’ll let Hannah capture is all on film. It will be a movie moment later. The experience was driving the car. I’m driving a car in Croatia. No, I’m driving a car in Montenegro. Two countries in one day. I can’t believe it. We drive through border control and all I want is that stamp in the passport. I came, I saw I left.

We talked about everything. We talked about God, life, love, fears, joys, families. We didn’t talk. We absorbed everything we saw.

First stop along the way. Only because I need to empty my bladder. But we are in a quaint town that wasn’t even on the map. So why not stop and explore. In and out of shops and a stop for breakfast. One omelette please and pancakes. I love friends who share food. Half for you and half for me. This is the most amazing omelette I have ever tasted. Cheese, meat and savory yumminess. Yes yes. I make sounds only to describe what I taste. 3.50 for a gourmet meal and a table on the water. The price of admission.

There’s no agenda here, but it seems like a good time to set our sails again. We are only driving on one road. No turns, just follow this road where it leads.

This is it, I think? How fast we got here. We are here. Now enjoy. Do we want to do the tour? Do we want to wander? Let’s find parking first. Oh yes, the last free spot. Right next to the entrance. Maybe I prayed asking for that.

Ask receive. Ask receive.

How do we get down to the town?

Oh there’s a sign pointing us directly to it?

Turn left or turn right?

We make friends along the way. He’s just ended his job as a chef on a boat. Traveling the world with one house here and one in Switzerland. I’ll walk with you for a little while. Quick tips about the town and a wave goodbye. I don’t want him to leave, maybe we will see him again soon. We do. Five minutes later in the market. Hello again!

Walk walk walk.

That’s what you do when you travel. Walk and wander. This street or that one. Walk up the bell tower? Why not, it’s only $1. Take pretty photos. Why not, let’s capture the moment.

Walk up. Walk back. Stay a while.

A bench just when you need it. An umbrella for fair skinned girl. Swimming and sunshine for tan skinned girl. A match made in heaven.

No here’s where it gets interesting.

Ask receive.

We are sitting by the ocean with the most picturesque view. Hannah has just gone swimming and I am sitting on the bench hiding from the sun under the umbrella. I can’t get comfortable. I’m too hot in the sun, and the only shade is awkwardly hidden on the bench. This isn’t what I want in this moment. A cat crawls up beside me and makes a nest in my shirt lying next to me. A reminder that she is comfortable and I’m not.

It’s going to be a while since Hannah is drying off after her quick swim. I decide I will start to sketch the beautiful view.

I take out the chair and park it close to the water. I am going to sketch the boat. I pause to take it in. This is the moment. It’s the movie. Where is the director and film crew right now? I’m having the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants moment of sitting on the dock drawing the boat. This is what I would want. Lord, today I have not been feeling beautiful. And all I want is a moment like this movie to find a guy. You know my heart and what I want.

I’m trying to enjoy the moment and live into it. But the jeans I’m wearing were a bad idea. Ironic? I’m sweating so much so I’m calling cut as my own Director.

I tell Hannah that I’ll move to the shade down the road and meet up with her later.

I find a bench open in the middle of the courtyard. A new view to add mountains to drawing. The scene is over, or so I thought. Someone called action without me knowing. I tell you this and you’ll have to believe for yourself if it is true.

There’s a guy. He’s in front of the mountains. I see him, kind of every time I look up to get the view. A little closer now? Then it happens.

“What are you drawing?” Scene 1.

His name is Stephan. He just got off work. He is a cook in town and taking the bus home to the next town.

He asks if he can sit next to me. What is happening. It’s comfortable though, talking about where we are from, how long I am here. Not forced. Just generally he is interested and I am too. “Are you married?” “No.” Would you like to go get a coffee?” Hannah is now back. I look at her and she says go. “Why are you thinking?” He says. So I say, “Yes.” Live into the moment. Lord what is happening.

Scene 2.

We walk down the side of the beach. He asks me what I like to do. So I share. We sit at the corner table on the dock. He is sitting next to me, not across. Espresso for him and hot tea for me.

What even happened. Waves crashing in, sunshine glistening over the mountains and a nice man sitting across from me.

We laugh as he teaches me to say the words in his language. There’s lots of eye contact. How deep can someone look in your eyes. Yours are blue. No green. How do you say what these are? Freckles. Yes. And what is this scar on you hand. Oh now you are holding my hand. “Is this okay?” Your hands are soft. “Why don’t you have boyfriend? You are beautiful and interesting.” The question I ask as well. “How long are you here?” One day. “I want to get to know you, can I get to know you? You are interesting. You are not like anyone I have met.”

Is this happening. This can’t be happening. This is surreal. This is not real. What. Is. Happening?

The question that pulls me back to reality. The question that tells cut to the movie. The question I need to ask?

Are you a Christian?

No. The simple answer. He is not. Mr. Wonderful. Perfect in every way, except. “But why do you need someone like this. You can’t find someone like this. I want to get to know you” Yes, you are saying every doubt I have ever shared with God. But you are not Mr. Wonderful. I trust God with this. Saying more or less to him and more to the One listening to my heart.

Scene 3. He has missed his bus from sitting with me. He asks for a ride to the next town. I say no. I need to leave this at a perfect moment. Let this end here. I need to be honest. “I don’t want to lead you on.”

It’s been nice meeting you.

I can’t even say the words to Hannah. I asked, I received. There it was. The real life Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants moment. Everything I wanted and yet not what I wanted. The guy, the scene.

But it didn’t fill. But what did fill.

That I am known. The God of the universe knew my thoughts from afar and intervened to show me just how known I really am. Where can I go from your presence? Where can I flee.

What I actually needed was not the movie moment love. But to be loved by the God of the universe. Ask and receive. Don’t even ask, and I will give. The movie moment to show you I am what you really want.

Okay God, you have my attention.